When you constantly challenge yourself, the challenges seem easier.
But getting there is the hardest path to take.
It isn’t easy.
A challenge doesn’t end when it’s over. The effects of it linger on, for a long time after.
It’s hard not to over-analyse what occurred.
For example, today I had a job interview. It went really well, but aspects of it could have been better. Of course; this is normal. But not in my mind.
My anxiety wants me to constantly feel humiliation and regret. It wants me to ponder on my actions, and think that I did terribly.
It’s a voice inside my head telling me I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that, I shouldn’t have done this. I should have said this, and that.
So the battle is never ending. But how did I overcome my anxiety enough to attend a job interview? Complete small challenges and build up to the huge ones. For instance, one day you will be making conversation with a stranger. A while later you will be attending an interview. You have worked up to it by taking small steps into overcoming your anxiety.
Deep breath, some sips of water. Take small steps, and persist. Change your way of thinking. It actually works. People used to tell me this all of the time; and they don’t mean change your way of thinking completely. They mean, tell yourself you’ll do well because so and so said that you were good at this. In effect this is turning your anxiety for good. You care what people think – you can’t help that. So care about the good things people think of you. Then use that to fuel your confidence in your own abilities.
But the side effect of this ‘behaviour training’ is that I just can’t stop replaying things in my head. I have to analyse every little detail of my most recent ‘challenge’. And then comes the wait. And if it’s bad news well that’s another story.
The rejection is quite difficult to take for any person, but for me it’s a severe blow. However my attitude has changed recently and it helps me cope with not getting the job. I just think one thing; everything is a learning curve. And it’s true. Whatever occurs is ultimately for the best. Even failure. For even in failure there is something to be learnt.
It’s out of my hands now. So let’s leave it at that… if only my mind would do the same.